The trad-husband
If asked to describe Doug, a mid-thirties, successful L.A. stockbroker—noble, popular, and insecure—I think trad-husband would not be inaccurate. He loves vintage cars, works out at an upscale gym, and as a scratch golfer gets invited by friends to play at their private clubs. His brief marriage to Emily produces a precocious child named Violet, with whom Doug remains close for the entire twenty years of the novel. In addition to giving Emily a super-generous settlement, he remains fiercely loving and giving to Violet.
His next wife, Amanda, a psychotherapist, takes note of his weaknesses: Doug will do almost anything in exchange for approval and respect. He knows when he’s being manipulated but finds purpose in making his clients money, being a faithful husband, and a devoted father to his only child. He also follows a moral compass, trying in everyday deeds to do “the right thing.” His flaw is that he can never admit to being overwhelmed by strong-willed women. He thinks he’s in control. Amanda is his third marriage, and he doesn’t want to blow it.
Amanda enjoys family money as well as a lucrative career, so Doug’s “partner value” is to happily consent to her doing pretty much as she pleases—especially when she takes Violet under her wing. Doug has custody of his daughter one weekend a month in the beginning, but Amanda wants to give this extraordinary child every possible advantage in a competitive world—things that Emily cannot do. This strikes Doug as a good and fair thing for all parties. Loyal to Amanda, he argues with Emily when she labels Amanda hyper-possessive. Doug is soon caught in a vise between two determined women.
As the writer of this story, I hope readers don’t pity or dismiss Doug for being weak or indecisive. While he doesn’t do well with conflict, he has a critical gift for self-preservation. Considering challenges he’s overcome that the reader doesn’t know about until later, Doug—the forever optimist—forgives himself as he recognizes the messes he gets himself into, especially when he’s unable to stand with Violet as his teenage daughter subtly turns against Amanda.
Doug embraces an enlightened indifference to the slings and arrows of his own fate, reminding me of more than a few men whose paths I have crossed over time. Their importance as glue in many lives goes under-appreciated.